I went over to the door and opened it, to find Stayne waiting.
"Are you quite finished?" I said nothing, trying to come up with a plan.
"I'll take your silence as a definite yes." He grabbed my arm and dragged me along the corridor. I hung my legs to slow him down, and buy me time. Rabbit hurried along behind us. We were brought before the queen in the courtroom. The joury were in place, and the queen on her throne. We were thrust into the stands with our friends Mally, Thackery, Tarrant, Queenie, and Chess.
"Steady, Megan," Tarrant whispered. I nodded.
"Your majesty, these lunatics were arrested for high treason against the crown."
"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" The queen roared.
"Not yet, your majesty," Stayne soothed. Iracebeth drummed her fingers impatiently.
"How do you plead?" Stayne asked. There was a short silence.
"Not guilty," I piped up.
"WHAT?!" Iracebeth shouted. "YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY GUILTY! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"
"If you please, Iracebeth," I said calmly. "It states clearly in the Underland law that those with issues of the mental kind cannot be tried nor arrested, even by those with the correct jurisdiction." There was a shocked silence. I smiled triumphantly.
"Are you bluffing?" Rabbit whispered in a voice that could barely be heard. I smiled.
"Oh yes, of course I am. Its utter nonsense."
"So what kind of deviously clever plan do you call this?" Chess whispered.
"The use-so-many-big-words-that-no-one-understands-a-word-you-say-so-they-let-you-go *take a breath if you wish* plan" I replied. Queenie nodded.
"What did she say, Stayne?"
"I really don't know," Stayne muttered, baffled.
"You should know," I continued. "Although it is somewhat of a Floccinaucinihilipilification (real word, look it up), you should still understand me. Of course, by the looks of it, you really do seem to be hippopotomonstrosesquippediliously challenged. And not only that, but I have my guesses that you are also a Gynotikolobomassophile, but that cannot be confirmed without her majesty's evidence."
lepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetragano!" Rabbit yelled. Chess and Queenie stared at her.
"What the heck was that?" Queenie asked, dumbfounded.
"It's a ghoulash composed of all the leftovers from the meals of the last two weeks" I announced. "The longest word in the English dictionary.
"I thought it was worth mentioning," Rabbit said shyly.
"As I was saying before I had the urge to verbigerate (forgive me your majesty, I am such a blatherskite), we cannot be culpable of this haenous crime if we are in no absolute control of our actions." There were mutterings from the court room. Stayne glared at us.
"Do you all understand me now?" I asked, grinning.
"Do you have anything against our theory?" Tarrant asked Stayne, grinning mischeviously. Stayne shook his head softly.
"Well, if there is no opposing argument, then they can only be innocent" one of the jurymen clarified. I twirled my hat in delight.
"How dare you go against me!" Iracebeth snarled at the juryman. "Off with your head!" The man quivered and whimpered as guards dragged him away. Numerous ones were taken to their doom, and during the commotion, we all snuck out.
We ran along the corridors, laughing with glee.
"This is our ticket out of here!" Mally cried.
"We're free!" Queenie said.
"Not quite yet, but still!" Rabbit replied.
"Spoon!" We ran down stairs and corridors, unnoticed, for everyone was in the court room. We ran past the kitchen, and I stopped dead, noticing two figures in the doorway. There, busily stirring a cauldron, was the cook. And cradling his shoulder was the Duchess. I beckoned the others back, and we listened to their conversation.
"Cook, you know I only have eyes for you," The Duchess cooed in such a voice as would make one puke.
"Yes, but I was concerned, that's why I called them guards, to make sure those loons didn't get in the way."
"So he called the guards!" Chess whispered.
"That Slubberdegullion!" I hissed. "That son of a bandersnatch!" The Duchess heard our titters and glanced up. She gasped to see us stood in the doorway.
"As I live and breath, it's them! They're alive!" We stood rigid. Tarrant frowned, and I scowled.
"Esmeralda, if I never saw you again, it'd be ten years too soon."
"Come come Harriet."
"No Duchess! You are so utterly Jementous, you Helminth, you worm. People fall dead at your feet, but only after smelling you first!" There was a chorus of laughter, even the Cook smirked.
"You've joined Crimes! After all Tarrant did for you. We'll be on our way now, but I leave you with this. You, my dear, are as sharp as a bowling ball." And with that, we ran off, tears in our eyes from so much laughter.
It was when we reached the courtyard the chaos started. A cry of "Now!" was heard, and arrows were firing from everywhere. Flaming arrows.
"Run!" Tarrant exclaimed, and we did not hesitate. I tucked my hat under my shoulder, and ran for all I was worth. Queenie screamed as a bush nearby set fire. That was when I realised that Crimes had made a huge mistake. They were going to burn their own castle to the ground. I dodged arrows from every direction, and Chess freaked when her tail caught fire. She quickly put it out, but her face was pale and her hands shook. I grabbed her hand and pulled her along. We reached the gate, and this time climbed over. With the arrows decreasing, we were on the home stretch.